I slept. I awoke. In hell, delivered

by a package from my memory.

An olfactory flash back to 1980.

I watched my father’s cigarette second

hand of smoke hold my mouth shut–

While the first hand tried to strangle

my small, six-year old neck. I screamed.

I smelled the enraged six year old’s

fury and I thrashed around to attempt

to pummel my father. The flash back

ended with my little hand which smashed

my fiance’s mouth with the force of a

freaked out me. He yelled. I explained

that I reached for my glasses, a strange

purple experiment. No, I lied. I wanted

to snuff out the source of the dirty smoke.

Instantly, the cigarette smoke’s grasp

hid. I expect my fiance  to not survive

the next calendar year.


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